Hi Daniel,
You don't know me but I know you. I was disappointed to see your message encouraging your Facebook friends to get extremely inebriated at the Boxing Day races.
If you won't think of yourself, Daniel, at least think of the horses.
And ask yourself, "What would Jesus do?" Sure he turned water into wine, but he didn't drink it. Well, not very much anyway.
And Jesus also turned wine into blood. There's a message there, hey Daniel?
As St Paul says, "Have a little water with your wine."
That way you won't need to relieve your bladder so often. You see, Dan, alcohol is what doctors call a diuretic (pron. Die You [He]retic!) Doesn't that tell you something? A drink that makes you LOSE fluid?!? How wack is that? Like liquid E or Ecky, man.
If you think about it, Dan, alcohol is just something, (grapes, hops, grains) that's gone bad, or off. Fermented, if you like, and then people, usually of non-Anglo ethnicity, who might have nasty cases of tinea, jump up & down on it. Yucky wucky.
Don't you go bad, Danny boy! Have a refreshing fruit juice or some Adam's Ale (H2O). Yummo!!!!!!
Or even a salty sports drink, but not the Tiger Woods one, even if it is heavily discounted. (Or make your own with Aeroplane jelly crystals & table salt.)
See you at the water cooler, Danny Manny.
Your new pal,
Jesse Jones (not my real name, can't be too careful with drunken scumbags. Not you Dan, other people who might "drop in" for a "visit" & read this.)
